and doesn't life.

just REALLY fucking SUCK ? now let me tell you, me and god have this interesting love/hate relationship.. i swear this to be true. but, lately i feel that his love is slowly being engulfed by the hate. karma some would say but i was never the kind of girl to believe in that.. i'd say that the big guy's pulling a pretty nasty prank called vengeance on me. s'all goot though. i can handle whatever the guy pulls on me, JUST WATCH ME !
one thing i notice he really likes to do is make timing of the most inconvenience. i mean seriously.. that one fucking day i decide NOT to stay home.. and you pull that on me !!!!!! god, shit like that makes me so fucking angry.. and goddamnit this could probably be solved if i jumped off this high horse that i'm on but fuck that.
come to think of it, you don't deserve me hopping off my high horse anyways.. i'm supposed to be over all this shit. so i wont. and i'll torture myself like i always do. but, in the end i will not give in. i fucking refuse. you play a good fucking game.. and to top it off you always were an asshole..
and i HATE how much i fucking like it..

worst of all, i hate how much you know it. Game on.

Random Fact: i am a pretty big hypocrite. althgouh i think i'm the shit, i fucking hate people who think they are better than me. Fuck that you shitty fuck. i'm not some injured girl you have to watch out for.. i'm don't get phased over things easily. i'm not stupid, so don't treat me like i am. don't worry about me, because i got my own damn self covered /end rant

P.S. winter break cannot come fast enough. i'm just sick and tired of all this shit. i need to get away.. AGAIN.

keep it gangster, chrizzle.

and here i am.

staying home from school yet again.. it's not FULLY my fault i swear, i only wanted to skip physics and french which is bad enough but my mom was like mind as well skip the rest of the day too, hopefully she drives me to english though. i would go myself but it's not my fault i live in the middle of the abyss now. where there are no skytrains in sight and buses come every half an hour.. so fuck that is what i say. English is kind of important today thgouh, so i'm hoping i can make it. but, anyways.. i'm gonna try and make a promise that i won't skip now until christmas break.. hopefully that will work but knowing me.. it won't.
on another note, i didn't really do much this weekend.. because i lost my phone and life pretty much sucks without it. but i did go to friends birthday, which was fun but made me never want to drink again lol.. maybe that's a good thing though. too many people got jacked up in the end.. i did not for the first time in my life. and then on saturday all i did was hang out with my favourite white boys.. haven't had fun like that in a long time.. but, still my so called friend would introduce me to his girlfriend last????? that is so mean, i would SO behave when there is someone new around.. for a bit. but i guess i could see where he's coming from.. i am a cougar after all.. those fuckers !

RANDOM FACT: i'm so sad right now.. i know why but, i don't wanna say why. Bitch move? totally but, as we all know.. i am the queen bitch.
P.S. I also got totally locked in my own bathroom yesterday.. and i thoguht my family went out shopping so i was gonna be in there for at least a couple hours. but, then as i'm trying to maguiver or however you spell it, my way out i hear giggling from the other side.. so i'm like WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?! and start banging on the door and finally my mom opens it and i'm like freaking out like the person i am and she has the nerve to say "i know the door's like that, you have to push it in" and then i'm thinking like what the hell did it look like i was trying to do for the last ten minutes??? well fuck that, man and my brother just laughs and then right then they fix the door.. fucking fuckers. that was probably the worst 10 minutes of my life.

and there it goes.

after all this time, it's all gonna go down like this. I suppose it could be my fault but, truthfully i don't think it is. I'm weak, atleast i can be but, you piss me off enough and boy, you really do, i can be pretty heartless. You had me good but, here's the oddest thing: i know you'll miss me. no one could ever take you on like i could. sure, you'll simmer in the back of my mind for a bit but honey trust me, i've gone through enough assholes like you for it to not phase me.

in other news, fuck bitches. period. that's about somes up my last view vents for the last few weeks. I haven't really had anything to write about recently and honestly, i knew i wasn't gonna write in this thing alot anyways. too many thoughts, too explicit to share. so basically, fuck life.
Another thing, i've never really noticed how much i've needed my naps. fucking basketball takes away all my napping time, I JUST WANNA SLEEP SOMETIMES. even better, this wednesday i'm going to get a matress, it's gonna be so sad to think about my new bed at home while i'm running laps or something.. DEPRESSING. but, in even better news, i lost my phone... for reals this time. of course i was wasted (note: Gin is a bitch) but, this time it DIDN'T COME BACK ! =( now i'm stuck all the way in burnaby(ish) and without a phone. I dont think i'm ever going out again, everything is just going against me. phones like to malfunction (and be lost by retarded owners), familes like to move into the middle of the abyss and little girls don't get their sleep. ain't my life a doozy?!
and another thing, i'm just gonna declare myself the booze fairy because, for some reason (WHICH I'M SURE IS UNJUSTIFIED) all my friends like to come to me and ask me to get them shmammered. whcih of course i would, but goddamn, all this reliance on me is makin' me alls weary. but, to conclude, i'd hella do it. winter break is coming in 3 weeks, so i'm just gonna not skip until then and possibly not drink?! but we know i'm a failure when it comes to that so uh, don't get no hopes up. i should start a christmas list and a new years resolution thing, but thoughs never end up working for me because for ovbious reason, i suck penis. big time.
i'll do that in a couple weeks, because things i want, i want to get myself... and i'm spending most of winter break with the fams anyways.. it's what i do. i loves the famjams.

RANDOM FACT: when i was younger, i put a zevra as one of the things i wanted for christmas. kids are fucking ridiculous man, because really, i'd rather have a monkey.